Oh my heart

This moment will forever hold a place in my heart. It was a long and emotionally draining day consumed with dealing with a difficult relationship; not discussed here due to irrelevance to this post. Constant worry, pain, and sadness bombarded my mind and I tried so hard to be strong and appear happy for my boys. I did not want them to see the pain I was feeling.

To distract myself, I decided to take the boys to the playground down by the lake. I let them run around, play games with the other kiddies, and skip rocks in the water while I stood “watching” them with a blank stare. My boys were thoroughly enjoying the moment and I was not; my mind would not ease up, my heart began to race, and I felt the anxiety coming on. I could not stop replaying everything that happened and everything that I could not change after the fact.

After the playground, we went for a long walk on the gravel path by the water’s edge until we reached the boat docks that extended into the water. We walked into the dock and looked at the ducks paddling by. I turned away to look at all the boats sitting peacefully out on the water. When I looked back at the boys I saw a sight I will NEVER forget. There they were, sitting side by side at the end of the dock. My oldest had his arm around his younger brother and they were both quietly admiring the water and the beautiful sunset in front of them.

At that moment, I stopped worrying and obsessing over the day. What I saw was so beautiful to my eyes. My boys loving each other, loving the colors of the sunset on the water, loving the moment. I stood there for a minute in awe of them. I took a deep breath and smiled. Nothing else mattered at that moment. Nothing.

I am blessed. I have my boys. Thank you God.

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3 thoughts on “Oh my heart

  1. Despite three marriages, I have never had (nor wanted) any children. Well done with managing and caring for three boys. I hope they grow up to respect you, and look after you in return.
    Thanks for following my blog, which is much appreciated.
    Best wishes, Pete.

    Like

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